Dear young adult,
Recently, I realized that nothing is how I thought it would be. I am in a very unique life stage. I am working my first full-time job, living with my parents, and discovering what "adulting" will look like for me.
I'm asking questions that I had never considered before. What does it look like to be financially responsible and set a budget? How do you find roommates and affordable rent? Is there even any affordable rent? How do you live with healthy habits like eating well and going to the gym when you work from 9 to 5? How do you make friends outside of work? How do you do ministry well in the day-to-day monotony? How do you even find time to date? How can I be a good employee and uphold Christian values in a secular workforce?
If I'm honest with myself, it's hard. It feels like a balancing act filled with uncertainty and, in my experience, often, disappointment. My family has been affectionately calling this season in my life the transitional period, and I know there are people out there who are like me.
We are young adults in between school and the rest of our lives. A lot of our futures (even the near future) are ever-changing. We have endless possibilities about where we will live, who will date/marry, where we want to work, and how we want to entertain ourselves on the weekends. You would think the endless freedom would make us overjoyed, but often, we just feel scared, overwhelmed, and lonely. I can say this, not only because I am experiencing this myself, but because I have talked with countless others who feel the same way. I just want to tell you - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
What now? Now, that I have acknowledged the elephant in the room how can we fight these feelings together?
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1. Plug into a local church.
Don't zone out. (*But, Kaitlyn, you mention this in every single blog post.*) That's because I believe it's really important. Amid the uncertainty, I have been able to find support in my local body of believers. While the young adult ministry is growing (Praise the Lord!), when I started coming, there were very few people who were my age. But, there were one or two adults who I confided in during hardship. In college, I only wanted to be around those like me - my age, my life stage, etc. But, I have come to realize the importance of gaining wisdom from every generation. As a result, I had a handful of people praying for me and checking in on me. And, I didn't care that they weren't like me. They loved me like Jesus does despite a different life stage or circumstance. Don't avoid a church because they don't have a ministry that fits you perfectly. You have a lot to gain and learn from a church body, no matter their age, number of children, relationship status, etc.
2. Get discipleship and, in turn, accountability.
You know the saying - "Do as I say, not as I do." This one applies to my life. When I came home, I did not have another woman pouring into me individually. I had bible study and church of course, but besides that, I was isolated. I went to church and went home. There was little life-on-life involvement. I go to a non-Christian context all day for work. Then, I go home. It made it hard to be truly known by those around me. As a result, I have seen my devotional time suffer more, and I have sometimes allowed habitual sin to take root. In college, I was always in accountability groups, but here there wasn't a pre-made discipleship program. So, spiritually, I suffered. Sin took root in the darkness that isolation allowed. There was no one checking on my spiritual walk. This allowed anxiety, fear, and loneliness to trickle in. Just because you are single or maybe you live alone, this is not an excuse to not invite people into the details of your spiritual life. This is necessary for growth and encouragement. If there is not a program for you, ask someone yourself. I am about to do discipleship with someone this Fall after realizing the negative effect there was without someone, and all I had to do was ask. :)
3. Seek wisdom in all things.
As a young adult, I am faced with a lot of decisions. No, I'm not talking about what ice cream flavor to choose or which pickleball paddle to buy. (Although, I do struggle to decide those sometimes - haha.) We are faced with choices about jobs, graduate programs, career movements, financial decisions, and living arrangements. These are things that can affect our lives long past the short term, and I know for me, that can be scary. In college, we knew exactly what was going to happen every semester. We would work hard in classes, finish the semester, take a break, and start another semester. But, everything is a little less certain now. How can we be sure we are making a wise decision and a Godly decision? We can seek wisdom. Ultimately, I believe wisdom comes from God (aka the Bible first and foremost should be consulted), but there have been numerous resources that have also allowed me to learn and make decisions for myself. I listen to spiritual podcasts on young adult topics, read spiritual books, and ask Godly friends for advice. But, ultimately, I am to hear the Lord's words/direction through all the chatter which takes some of the pressure off. I also aim to remember that God works through mistakes and successes. There is no mess that he can't use.
I hope that this was helpful and that you feel seen. God sees you in your pain and worry. He knows you and your unfulfilled dreams. Trust in him. Don't allow isolation. You got this, through God alone!
Love,
Kaitlyn
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